Real Talk: Summer-Fall 2020

Short answer: You can stop having kids whenever you like. Women naturally have a harder time getting pregnant as they get older, and especially over the age of 40, but that doesn’t mean pregnancy can’t be prevented earlier if you decide you’re finished having children or simply don’t want to have children at all. There are multiple forms of birth control available to help prevent pregnancies—some reversible and some permanent. A consultation with your OB-GYN can help you figure out which method best suits your wants and needs. At the end of the day, it’s your body and you get to decide what’s right for you!

Rose Depauia-Cox, M.D

Orgasms are complex and their neurobiology is still somewhat unknown. However, males and females actually have similar orgasm pathways, in a physical sense! An orgasm is (in the simplest sense) a series of muscle contractions involving the reproductive organs and muscles that support our pelvic organs. Studies dating back to the 1960s examining heart rate, blood pressure, and respiratory rate found no significant differences between males and females. However, the true differences lie in each individual. Each person has their own set of desires, needs, and behaviors that “turn them on,” so to speak. In addition, orgasms may differ with different partners; no two sexual experiences and no two relationships are alike. As for female orgasm during sex, the short answer is no, females do not always orgasm during sex. Neither do males! However, studies have shown that males are statistically more likely to ejaculate during sex than females are to experience an orgasm. What does make women unique is their ability to be multi-orgasmic (basically, females can have several orgasms back to back without losing their level of excitement). Overall, the road to a healthy, safe sex life is individual and can change throughout your life. Always be honest with your partner about your boundaries and needs, and practice safe sex no matter what!

Diana Shustarovich, M.D.

Bisexual means being attracted to more than just one gender. Pansexual people are attracted to people regardless of their gender identity. Some people assume that the word “bisexual” implies that there are only two genders, male and female. As a reminder, the main difference between gender and biological sex is that one’s sex is determined by whether someone is born with female or male body parts. Gender is a person’s sense of their gender, which may or may not match the sex they were assigned at birth (as in the case of transgender and queer people, for example). The important message to take away from this question is that regardless of a person’s sexual orientation, they should be treated equally and respectfully.

Remi Omotayo, M.D.

It is absolutely okay to be nervous about having sex! There can be a mix of emotions when it comes to sex, especially before the first time. There are actually hormones in your body that get released before and during sex that can cause that “butterflies in your stomach” type of feeling, the same one you may feel when you’re nervous. So, it is not unusual to feel that way. You may feel less nervous if you have an open conversation with the person you are choosing to have sex with about what makes you feel comfortable and agree on a private, safe place to have sex for the first time. It is important to make sure that both of you have consented to having sex. Also, consider having a conversation with your doctor about birth control to prevent pregnancy. And remember to be safe; condoms are the only way to prevent STDs/STIs and may also relieve some stress surrounding sex. Sex should make you feel happy and at no point should you feel scared or unsafe; if you do, stop and have a conversation with your partner.

Vibha Rao, M.D.

It’s an age-old question! Let’s step back and think about what goes into making a period. Each month, our bodies experience a cycle of hormones that work together to prepare for a pregnancy. Let’s start in the follicular phase, roughly two weeks after your period ends. During this time, estrogen tells your ovaries to prepare an egg and tells your uterus to start building a fluffy, inviting lining for that egg to live in if it gets fertilized by a sperm and forms a pregnancy. At the end of this phase, another hormone signals the ovary to release an egg; this is called ovulation. Next is the luteal phase, the two weeks before your period when the hormone progesterone keeps the fluffy lining ready for a pregnancy. If no pregnancy occurs, progesterone slowly goes away. This signals your body to shed the fluffy lining and start all over. That’s what you see as blood during your period!

Now, let’s talk mood. Many things affect our mood—diet, exercise, schoolwork, our relationships and even the weather. The hormones that control our menstrual cycle can also add to the mix. During the follicular phase, we tend to feel good; we have clearer thinking, better coordination, energy and a general positive attitude. Right at ovulation, you may still feel some of that positive energy, but don’t be surprised by lower belly cramping around this time; that’s the egg being released! In the luteal phase, things get a little funky mood-wise. You may feel anxious, depressed, irritable and overall low energy.

The best thing to do is to be prepared for potential highs and lows. Download a period tracker on your phone and jot down moods as they come. I like to use the free version of Flo, but there are many apps out there. Exercising, eating healthy meals instead of junk food, and nurturing fun hobbies is key to supporting your body, especially during that luteal phase!

Ralitza Peneva, M.D.