What is sex?

The most common definition of sex is that a penis enters a vagina, but sex means different things to different people and the “traditional” penis-in-vagina definition doesn’t work for same-sex couples. Oral sex (genitals are stimulated by mouth), anal sex (penis in anus/butt), and heavy petting are also very intimate acts and may be considered sex. In the end, it’s up to you to define what sex means to you. And while sex typically involves two people, the decision to engage in sexual activity is entirely yours. No one has the right to make you do something you don’t want to do; you should only do what feels right to you.

Why do women get pregnant?

Most females release an egg once a month and if this egg meets a sperm (semen, which is the fluid released through the penis during ejaculation, contains approximately between 20 to 100 million sperm cells per milliliter) and the fertilized egg implants in the lining of the uterus (womb), you’ll get pregnant. If the egg doesn’t meet a sperm, then the egg, some uterus lining, and blood will be shed. That’s your period! You can get pregnant through penis-in-vagina intercourse but also if sperm is released outside of your body near your vagina because sperm can travel and find their way to an egg.

What are STDs and how are they given from one person to another?

There are many different sexually transmitted diseases or STDs (aka STIs, sexually transmitted infections). Well-known STDs are chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, hepatitis, genital herpes, and genital warts. All of these are mostly spread through sexual contact (vaginal, oral, and anal sex). Some STDs are very serious because they can leave permanent damage, like affecting your ability to have children, or even lead to death. The most dangerous STD is HIV/AIDS, which is spread mainly by having sex with an infected person or sharing drug injection equipment. Sometimes you can be affected and not know that you have an infection. A good rule is: ALWAYS go see a doctor if you experience genital itching or rashes, if it hurts to pee, or you have heavy or smelly discharge from your vagina, whether you have been sexually active or not! Your doctor will help you figure out what’s going on and make sure you get healthy again soon.

METHODS OF CONTRACEPTION: The basics

Abstinence

Being abstinent is the safest method of contraception. You cannot get pregnant if you’re not having sex at all.

Note: Abstinence doesn’t mean the same thing to all people, but at the very least it means no penis-in-vagina sex. It also shouldn’t involve any sexual activities that can allow semen into the vagina. Some people who consider themselves “abstinent” engage in oral or anal sex, which generally can’t lead to pregnancy, but both of these forms of sex can spread STDs.

Condoms

Condoms help prevent pregnancy and protect from STDs by making sure that semen and other fluids can’t get into the vagina. There are male condoms, which are rolled onto an erect penis, and female condoms, which are partially inserted into the vagina. If used correctly, condoms are very good at preventing pregnancy and STDs, but they may tear or slip off, and sometimes boys and girls are embarrassed to use them or don’t want to use them because they think it’ll ruin the experience. The fact is that condoms are a must for young people who are sexually active.

Note: Oral and anal sex require condoms as well! Only use either a female or a male condom, not both.

The Pill

(and other hormonal methods)

There are different types of contraceptive pills, but they all contain hormones. Some girls who aren’t sexually active actually take the pill to clear up acne or make their periods lighter and less painful. Some girls may experience negative side effects such as irregular bleeding, headaches or high blood pressure. The pill needs to be taken daily and some girls struggle to remember to take it every day, which increases the risk of getting pregnant. The pill, the patch, and the NuvaRing® all work the same way to stop the release of the egg from the ovary. The patch needs to be changed weekly and the NuvaRing® once per month. There are also injections and implants available that release the hormones into the body over long periods of time for those who would prefer options that require less maintenance. And there’s also something called an intrauterine device or IUD, which is a small t-shaped piece of plastic inserted into the uterus that releases hormones (a copper IUD is an option for girls and women who prefer hormone-free methods).

Note: None of these methods protect from STDs!

You can get contraceptives without your parents’ consent, but if you at all think that you can talk to your parents about it, it’s a good idea to have a conversation with them first.