THE SAVAGE MAKEOVER: Finding Your Healthy Purpose

THE WORD “SAVAGE” means wild or uncontrollable. A Savage Makeover isn’t like any makeover you know: it can’t be found on a blog or in a YouTube video, and you can’t ask someone to give you one. It’s got nothing to do with changing your bedroom, makeup, or hair. A Savage Makeover is about your mood, thoughts, and feelings. Whether you want to or not, you – and all other teenagers – will undergo a Savage Makeover because of the changes your body and brain undergo during the teenage years. You’re no longer a child, but you’re not an adult yet either. Being an adolescent can be challenging and leave you feeling crazy at times. I am here to help you under-stand the “savagery” a bit better so you can take advantage of these years and emerge a better you.

As you gain more freedom from your parents, you will spend more time with peers, who are also going through this Savage Makeover. When social time is not centered on a positive or productive activity, or positive and productive friends, rebellious and pleasure-seeking teens may find it hard to resist negative influences, such as pressure to bully, drink alcohol, use drugs, drive recklessly, and engage in sexual activity. Most teens know the dangers of such activities – in theory. You probably already know that alcohol and drugs will damage your brain and body (and possibly relation-ships with people you love); that driving recklessly may result in an accident and physical injury to yourself and others; that sexual activity can lead to disease, pregnancy, and emotional distress; and that bullying is emotional abuse and very hurtful to others. Yet, many teens still make poor choices in the heat of the moment because the intensity of their emotions tends to overrule rational thinking.

One way to override the negative risks of a Savage Makeover is to discover your Healthy Purpose, which is your commitment to some-thing bigger than yourself. It is YOUR version of serving the greatest good – or benefit to all. If there were no limits, what would you change about the world? If you had just one wish for your future self, what would it be? If you are having trouble answering, think about what makes you feel deeply. What makes you sad? If you’re still not sure what you are passionate about, go out and get involved in something meaningful – learn about the world. there are plenty of things to experience and problems to solve. No matter how big your vision, set out to achieve it. You may want to reverse climate change or make sure all children have equal access to education. Maybe you want to save animals and their habitats or fight for social justice. When you’ve identifed your Healthy Purpose, you can begin to live with greater intention. Even the smallest daily challenges are opportunities to practice channeling your intense emotions into constructive actions.

Like evolution, the Savage Makeover should lead to growth and improvement. It is an opportunity for you to become a better person and to help make the world around you better. However, just like a species, you will evolve through trial-and-error learning, and how you respond to mistakes and challenges will shape who you’ll be as an adult. Think of your tendency toward rebellious, risky, and impulsive behavior like a genetic mutation: it can make things better or more interesting – or it can limit opportunities for growth and destroy the things you value.

Mother Nature has gifted you this time in your life to develop your own vision for who you want to be. Don’t waste time by not being intentional about how you live your life. It’s up to you to get out there and try new things that are scary but good for your personal growth. Be unafraid to speak your truth and live your purpose. And most importantly, expect to make mistakes. Forgive yourself when you think you’ve failed and get back up and try, try, try again. Let your Healthy Purpose guide your thinking and actions, and you will be on your way to your best you – and a better world.

Savage Makeover Tips for Finding (and Living!) Your Healthy Purpose

Journal
Take a moment to write down your thoughts every single day. Don’t worry about what you write or what your handwriting looks like; just write whatever comes out. This is a way of getting rid of all the distractions in your head so you can access your deeper beliefs. (the book “The Artist’s Way” is a great resource for this type of journaling and becoming a more intentional and creative force.)

Meditate
Take ten minutes out of your day to sit quietly with your thoughts — it’s best to pick the same time every day (a good time may be just after writing in your journal). Sit straight in a chair – don’t lie down – and be silent. Shut your eyes and imagine each breath you take filling your stomach. There are phone apps that can guide your meditation, such as Headspace. Commit to doing this every day, especially when you don’t feel like it.

Explore
Get out there and try new things you find interesting. Volunteer for a theatre production or at an animal shelter; train for a race; try out for the debate team. Follow your interests and don’t quit when it gets hard. Finding flow — or ease in an activity — takes time and perseverance. Commit for at least four months and move on to something else when the time is up if you are not fulfilled.

Dream
Think about where you’d like to be in five and three years; what about one year? Write down what you would like to achieve (no dream is too big!) in these separate time frames and the steps you need to take to do so. Identify the three goals that are most important to you right now and make a plan to achieve them.

Plan
Get a planner and handwrite everything in it from your “to do” lists to your class schedule, social activities, practices, family time, important appointments, etc. Develop a weekly routine that includes activities related to the three goals you identifed as most important right now. Make time for meals, sleep, and exercise. Try to stick with the schedule as best you can, but forgive yourself when you can’t and try again. Check your planner every morning and night. The Passion Planner (www.passionplanner.com) is a great way to discover your purpose, make a plan, and implement it!

Dr. Sarah Fontenelle

Developmental Specialist
Sarah is a native New Orleanian who earned her doctorate in experimental psychology at Tulane University. She is also a graduate of the University of Southern Mississippi, Millsaps College, and Mount Carmel Academy. Her Healthy Purpose in life is to empower others to dream big and achieve their greatest goals, which is why she’s currently working toward licensure for independent practice in psychology. When she is not helping clients or studying, she enjoys writing music with her husband, giggling with her 3-year-old twin daughters, and walking along the levee by the river in her secret gem of a neighborhood, Holy Cross.