(Un)Healthy Social Media

Do you lead a healthy and happy social media life? Check in with yourself when you are on social media. How are you feeling about what you are seeing and reading? Content that makes you feel hopeful, excited, or like you are learning something can be really empowering.

It is within your power to use social media in a way that’s good for you (and others). When you are posting thoughts or information, make an effort to keep your posts positive. Social media is a really powerful tool when we use it as a means of connecting and including rather than isolating and excluding. You are the best judge of whether what you are reading and putting out there is helpful and hopeful.

Staring at pictures or reading about what other people are doing without you increases feelings of loneliness and depression. “Friends” and “Likes” on social media may feel really good for a moment, but they do not even begin to compare with the long-lasting impact of a friend you can hang out with in person.

A Couple Tips

Make sure you are balancing every 100 friends and followers you have on Snapchat, Insta and the like with at least one or two friends you are eating ice cream with, going to the movies with, and making plans for the future with.

If anything you are seeing online makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, tell a parent or trusted adult. You are wiser than you know.

Make sure you are balancing every 100 friends and followers you have on Snapchat, Insta and the like with at least one or two friends you are eating ice cream with, going to the movies with, and making plans for the future with.

If anything you are seeing online makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, tell a parent or trusted adult. You are wiser than you know.

How to make your social media life healthier

Be present!

• When you’re with others, your phone should be out of your hands. Ask your friends to do the same. If you’re out for a meal, put your phones in a pile on the table. Talk about the urge to grab your phone. But instead of doing that, spend time with one another.
• Make sure you know the color of every person’s eyes in your life.
• Balance screen time with exercise, reading a book, volunteering or asking someone how you can help. See how it makes you feel!

Pause before you post!

It can be hard to remember that our presence online is an extension of who we are in real life. It is WAY too easy to post something. It is so much more difficult to deal with the consequences of what you have posted. When you are feeling sad or angry—or really any strong emotion—a good rule of thumb is to wait before you post. Take a breath and do one or more of the following:

• Give yourself at least an hour to think about what you want to post (remember, your post is not an emergency!)

• Say what you are thinking of posting out loud to yourself or someone else

• Ask yourself if you would say what you are posting in person (spoiler alert: the answer is often no)—you might also ask why you aren’t saying it face-to-face

• Consider how it would feel to read the post if you were the person or group it was directed toward

Remember: when you release photos and/or information into the cybersphere via text, instant message, over Snapchat, on Insta and so on, that information is anyone’s to do whatever they wish with it. If you don’t want your boyfriend’s buddies, your mom, dad, uncle, teacher, etc. to see that photo, it’s best not to put it out there.

A Quick Q&A

A friend’s posts make me worried. What shall I do?

People sometimes use social media to cry for help. If a friend is posting content that makes you worried about their or other people’s safety, listen to that voice. When your gut tells you something is not right, you are probably on to something. If your friends don’t agree, suggest you stay quiet, or don’t know what to do either, go to an adult you trust and get help about how to proceed.

What can I do against cyberbullying?

Feeling uncomfortable about how you or someone else is being treated on social media is another great opportunity to get support from friends or trusted adults. If you read something that is upsetting to you—whether the post involves you or someone else—the most important thing you can do is share your feelings with someone. Keeping quiet is how bullying thrives.

Dr. Arian Elfant is a clinical psychologist with a private practice in New Orleans who received her PhD from Nova Southeastern University and completed her training at Vanderbilt University. She works with adolescents and adults seeking therapy for a variety of topics including depression, anxiety, relationships, family, sexuality, and grief. Dr. Elfant loves that her job involves conversations with total privacy and zero interruptions (no texting, no Snapchat, no Instagram). When she is not working, Dr. Elfant enjoys spending time with her husband and two children, being outside with her dog, baking cookies, and getting lost in a great book.